Thursday, September 1, 2011

Tools For Your Toolbox: Sample of Motion Used in Miami

Last Wednesday, August 17, 2011 a Miami Judge dismissed 39 drug charges, finding Florida’s drug possession law facially unconstitutional. The ruling follows an earlier ruling by a federal district court judge reaching the same conclusion.

Below is a sample motion similar to the one used in Miami, which can be filed in any drug possession case.

THE STATE OF FLORIDA, Case Number
Plaintiff,

vs.

,
Defendant.
_______________________________/

MOTION TO DISMISS FOR FACIAL UNCONSTITUTIONALITY
The Defendant, pursuant to Florida Rule of Criminal Procedure 3.190(b), moves this Honorable Court to dismiss the charge(s) brought under Section 893.13(6), Florida Statutes, as facially unconstitutional because Section 893.101, Florida Statutes, removes the mens rea requirement from this law in violation of the due process clauses of the State and Federal Constitutions. See U.S. Const. amend. V, XIV; Art. I, §9, Fla. Const. The grounds for this motion are as follows:
FACT
The state has charged the defendant with possession of a controlled substance in violation of Section 893.13(6), Florida Statutes.
ARGUMENT
Section 893.13(6), Florida Statutes, contains no mens rea element. Instead it states: “It is unlawful for any person to be in actual or constructive possession of a controlled substance unless such controlled substance was lawfully obtained from a practitioner or pursuant to a valid prescription . . . .” Violation of this statute is a felony punishable by up to five years in state prison. § 775.082(3)(d), Fla. Stat. Defendants classified as “habitual violent felony offenders” are subject to ten years in prison. See § 775.084(1)(b), (4)(b), Fla. Stat. Additionally, a defendant convicted of a violation of Section 893.13(6) faces the loss of driving privileges, the loss of the right to vote and limitations on the defendant’s ability to obtain certain housing and employment.
In a reaction to Chicone v. State, 684 So. 2d 736 (Fla. 1996), and Scott v. State, 808 So. 2d 166 (Fla. 2002), holding that “the State was required to prove that [the defendant] knew of the illicit nature of the items in his possession,” 684 So. 2d at 744, the Florida Legislature enacted section 893.101(2), Florida Statutes, which “finds that knowledge of the illicit nature of a controlled substances is not an element of any offense under this chapter.”
Generally, the legislature can define crimes, “[b]ut there are obviously constitutional limits beyond which the States may not go in this regard.” Patterson v. New York, 432 U.S. 197, 210 (1977). One of the most basic requirements of due process is notice. See generally Mullane v. Central Hanover Bank & Trust Co., 339 U.S. 306, 313. Within the criminal law, notice is referred to as the mens rea requirement of knowledge. See generally Anderson v. State, 48 So. 3d 1015, 1016 n.1 (Fla. 5th DCA 2010) (equating knowledge and notice). Requiring mens rea is fundamental to the criminal law. Morissette v. U.S., 342 U.S.246, 250 (1952) (requiring mens rea “is as universal and persistent in mature systems of law as belief in freedom of the human will and a consequent ability and duty of the normal individual to choose between good and evil.”).
In the absence of a legislative pronouncement, courts will imply a mens rea requirement of knowledge. See, e.g., Staples v. United States, 511 U.S. 600, 605-06 (1994); United States v. United States Gypsum Co., 438 U.S. 422, 437 (1978); Chicone v. State, 684 So. 2d 736 (Fla. 1996); and Frank v. State, 199 So. 2d 117 (Fla. 1st DCA 1967). The reason is that “the requirement of guilty knowledge ‘must be observed in order to safeguard innocent persons from being made the victims of unlawful acts perpetrated by others, and of which they have no knowledge.’” Chicone, 684 So. 2d at 743 (quoting Frank v. State, supra at 121). The Frank opinion goes on to say: “It is a safeguard which must be preserved in the interest of justice so that the constitutional rights of our citizens may be preserved.” 119 So. 2d at 121 (quoted with approval in Chicone, 684 So. 2d at 739).
Florida courts have implied an element requiring the state to prove that the defendant “had knowledge of the presence of the substance” in many crimes created by section 893.13, Florida Statutes. See Fla. Std. Jury Instr. (Crim.) 25.7 (emphasis supplied). Pursuant to section 893.101, Florida Statutes, however, that requirement cannot be that the person knew the substance was an illegal substance; just that the substance was there.
The result is that in Florida, entirely innocent citizens can be guilty of felony drug offenses. Controlled substances often come in pills and powders, looking very similar to too many other innocuous and legal pills and powders. Even the labeling of a bottle of pills or container of powder (Tylenol, talcum powder) does not guarantee that the contents of the bottle or container match the label. Therefore, a citizen’s mere knowledge that they possess a substance does not equate to mens rea of criminal wrongdoing.
As a result, the Florida statute criminalizes the passive action of possessing a controlled substance, even if the person does not know the true nature of the substance. Put another way, Florida law imposes on citizens the affirmative duty to analyze every substance in their possession and determine if any of those substances are in fact controlled substances. The investigation cannot end there, however, because whether the substance is legal or illegal often turns on whether or not there is a valid prescription. Therefore, every person holding prescription medication for someone else (usually a caregiver) must investigate the medical records of the patient to determine the legality of possessing and distributing the medication.
The United States Supreme Court has struck down a law criminalizing passive activity without requiring a showing of mens rea. The case involved a failure to register as someone with a prior felony conviction:
[W]e deal here with conduct that is wholly passive—mere failure to register. It is unlike the commission of acts, or the failure to act under circumstances that should alert the doer to the consequences of his deed. The rule that ‘ignorance of the law will not excuse’ is deep in our law, as is the principle that of all the powers of local government, the police power is ‘one of the least limitable.’ On the other hand, due process places some limits on its exercise. Engrained in our concept of due process is the requirement of notice. Notice is sometimes essential so that the citizen has the chance to defend charges. Notice is required before property interests are disturbed, before assessments are made, before penalties are assessed. Notice is required in a myriad of situations where a penalty or forfeiture might be suffered for mere failure to act. . . . [T]he principle is equally appropriate where a person, wholly passive and unaware of any wrongdoing, is brought to the bar of justice for condemnation in a criminal case.

Lambert v. California, 355 U.S. 225, 228 (1957) (citations omitted; emphasis supplied).
The Court then went on to explain that without requiring proof of notice or knowledge, the law was unconstitutional:
Violation of its provisions is unaccompanied by any activity whatever, mere presence in the city being the test. Moreover, circumstances which might move one to inquire as to the necessity of registration are completely lacking. . . . Nevertheless, this appellant on first becoming aware of her duty to register was given no opportunity to comply with the law and avoid its penalty, even though her default was entirely innocent. She could but suffer the consequences of the ordinance, namely, conviction with the imposition of heavy criminal penalties thereunder. We believe that actual knowledge of the duty to register or proof of the probability of such knowledge and subsequent failure to comply are necessary before a conviction under the ordinance can stand. As Holmes wrote in The Common Law, ‘A law which punished conduct which would not be blameworthy in the average member of the community would be too severe for that community to bear.’ Its severity lies in the absence of an opportunity either to avoid the consequences of the law or to defend any prosecution brought under it. Where a person did not know of the duty to register and where there was no proof of the probability of such knowledge, he may not be convicted consistently with due process. Were it otherwise, the evil would be as great as it is when the law is written in print too fine to read or in a language foreign to the community.

Id. at 229-230 (citation omitted; emphasis supplied).
Subsequent case law from the United States Supreme Court has interpreted statutes to include knowledge requirements specifically saying it was doing to “so as to avoid substantial constitutional questions.” United States v. X-Citement Video, Inc., 513 U.S. 64, 69 (1994); see id. at 73 (“[W]e do not impute to Congress an intent to pass legislation that is inconsistent with the Constitution as construed by this Court.”). The legislature, by enacting section 893.101, Florida Statutes, however, has explicitly rejected Chicone’s construction that would have saved its constitutionality.
There is an exception in “limited circumstances,” United States Gypsum Co., 438 U.S. at 437, to this constitutional rule for criminal punishments meant to enforce regulatory “public welfare” schemes that first came into being with the Industrial Revolution and the consequent urbanization of society. See Morissette, 342 U.S. at 253-56. The Court has reasoned that if “a defendant knows that he is dealing with a dangerous device of a character that places him in responsible relation to a public danger, he should be alerted to the probability of strict regulation . . . .” Staples, 511 U.S. at 607. In such regulatory schemes, “penalties commonly are relatively small, and conviction does not grave damage to an offender’s reputation.” Morissette, 342 U.S. at 256.
Since Lambert, the Federal Circuits have focused on these characteristics in subsequent cases, but have not always agreed on which characteristic is most important. Most of these cases come under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act, simply because it was one of the few federal criminal statutes without a mens rea element either explicit or implied. One approach is United States v. Wulff, 758 So. 2d 1121 (6th Cir. 1985), which held: “The elimination of the element of criminal intent does not violate the due process clause where (1) the penalty is relatively small, and (2) where conviction does not gravely besmirch.” Id. at 1125. In that case the penalty was a felony with a maximum sentence of up to two years imprisonment, and the loss of civil rights resulting from the felony conviction. Id. The court held that this is not “a relatively small penalty” and upheld the district court’s dismissal of the charge. Id.; see also Staples, 511 U.S. at 618 (“Our characterization of the public welfare offense in Morissette hardly seems apt, however, for a crime that is a felony . . . .”); United States v. Apollo Energies, Inc., 611 F.3d 679, 688 (10th Cir. 2010) (“due process suggests some constitutional limits on the penalties contained in strict liability crimes. Severe fines and jail time would warrant a state of mind requirement.”).
Under this approach, Florida exacts a severe penalty for drug possession. No one should have to face five years in state prison and a felony conviction with the attendant loss of civil rights for innocently possessing what turned out to be a controlled substance.
The alternative approach is found in United States v. Engler, 806 F.2d 425 (3d Cir. 1986). That court refused to focus on the penalty provided, id. at 433-35, but instead focused on whether the person was engaged in the type of activity that would have given them notice:
Strict liability for omissions which are not “per se blameworthy” may violate due process because such derelictions are unlike the commission of acts, or the failure to act under circumstances that should alert the doer to the consequences of his deed. By contrast, due process is not violated by the imposition of strict liability as part of a regulatory measure in the interest of public safety, which may well be premised on the theory that one would hardly be surprised to learn that [the prohibited conduct] is not an innocent act.

Id. at 435 (emphasis in original; citations and quotations omitted).
Without an illicit knowledge element, nothing alerts the average citizen that they may be in violation of this law. For instance, the Florida statute criminalizes the couple who do not recognize that the tropical plant growing in their backyard is a marijuana plant that crossed the fence from the neighbor’s backyard. Similarly, the Florida statute criminalizes the grandmother who does not realize that that last time her wayward grandson came over to visit, he emptied her can of baking powder and replaced it with cocaine or some other illicit drug that comes in a white powder. In both cases, the citizens would know they possessed the substance (the backyard plant, the can of baking powder), but not its illicit nature. This is exactly the type of punishment of innocent behavior that the constitution does not tolerate.
Florida law is actually worse than the above scenarios indicate because the citizen need not even have actual knowledge that they possess the substance. The courts have created a presumption that “if a person has exclusive possession of a controlled substance, knowledge of its presence may be inferred or assumed.” Fla. Std. Jury Instr. (Crim.) 25.7. Therefore, a homeowner is presumed to know everything they have in their home. Most people could not begin to provide such an inventory. Therefore, if the wayward grandson in the above example simply placed a box containing drugs on the top shelf of his grandmother’s kitchen cupboard, a shelf that the grandmother cannot reach and has not used for years, the jury is told that it can assume that the grandmother knew of the box because she is in exclusive possession of the house. Similarly, a homeowner is criminally liable if a guest accidently (or deliberately) leaves behind a baggie of cocaine between the sofa cushions, even if homeowner never lifts the cushions and discovers the baggie.
Exclusive possession of property is normal in American society. Nothing about that activity alerts the property owners that they may be criminally liable if a substance that either they did not know was on their property, or did not know was a controlled substance, turns out to be illegal drugs.
The two approaches above need not be exclusive, and a federal district judge has recently used an amalgam of these approaches to hold that Florida’s drug possession laws were unconstitutional, because they have severe penalties, create social stigma, and the activity prohibited was not so inherently dangerous that citizens would expect heightened regulation. Shelton v. Secretary, Department of Corrections, 2011 WL 3236040, at *5-*12 (M.D. Fla. July 27, 2011).
The state may argue that the fact that section 893.101(3), Florida Statutes, makes lack of knowledge of the illicit nature of the substance an affirmative defense solves the problem. It does not. The state cannot shift the burden of proof to a defendant to disprove a necessary element of the crime. See In re Winship, 397 U.S. 358, 364 (1970) (“the Due Process Clause protects the accused against conviction except upon proof beyond a reasonable doubt of every fact necessary to constitute the crime with which he is charged.”); State v. Cohen, 568 So. 2d 49 (Fla. 1990) (finding affirmative defense unconstitutional because “this ‘affirmative defense’ does not concede the offense; it negates it. In effect, this statute requires the defendant to present a preponderance of evidence that in effect says, ‘I did not do it.’”).
Nor can the state take solace in the courts that have, to date, upheld section 893.101, Florida Statutes, against constitutional challenges. There are really only two decisions of substance, and they both started from the premise that the Legislature can define the elements of a statute anyway it wishes, citing dicta from Chicone to that effect. Wright v. State, 920 So. 2d 21, 23-24 (Fla. 4th DCA 2005) (“The legislature is vested with broad authority to determine intent requirements in defining crimes. The applicable test is the rational basis standard of review.”) (citation omitted); Burnette v. State, 901 So. 2d 925, 927 (Fla. 2d DCA 2005) (“However, it is the prerogative of the legislature to define the elements of a crime and to determine whether scienter is an essential element of a statutory crime.”); see also Williams v. State, 45 So. 3d 14, 16 (Fla. 1st DCA 2010) (relying entirely on previous decisions including Wright and Burnette); Taylor v. State, 929 So. 2d 665, 665 (Fla. 3d DCA 2006) (one-paragraph decision relying on other court decisions including Wright and Burnette). None of those decisions addressed the constitutional limitations on the legislature in doing so.
Chicone did not address a situation such as section 893.101, Florida Statutes, where the legislature had explicitly spoken. Chicone, 684 So. 2d at 743 (“There is no such indication of legislative intent to dispense with mens rea here.”). Therefore, the dictum in Chicone is not binding. See, e.g., Lewis v. State, 34 So. 3d 183, 186 (Fla.1st DCA 2010) (“When a court makes a pronouncement of law that is ultimately immaterial to the outcome of the case, it cannot be said to be part of the holding in the case.”). The subsequent DCA decisions relying on that dicta did not address Lambert and the constitutionality of removing mens rea, but instead whether the creation of the affirmative defense impermissibly shifted the burden of proof, assuming that the legislature had the power to define the elements of the crime. Wright, 920 So. 2d at 24 (“Removal of the [mens rea] element, however, is not the crux of Wrights’s challenge.”); Burnette, 901 So. 2d at 927 (“Burnette argues that section 893.101 violates due process by shifting the burden to the defendant to prove that he lacked knowledge of the illicit nature of the substance, thereby relieving the State of its burden to prove each element of the crime beyond a reasonable doubt.”). The issue here challenges the underlying assumption those cases did not address. Prior decisions that do not decide the question at issue are also not binding. See, e.g., Twyman v. Roell, 166 So. 215, 217 (Fla. 1936) (“To be of value as a precedent, the questions raised by the pleadings and adjudicated in the case cited as a precedent must be in point with those presented in the case at bar.”); Benson v. Norwegian Cruise Line Ltd., 859 So. 2d 1213, 1217 (Fla. 3d DCA 2003) (“[N]o decision is authority on any question not raised and considered, although it may be involved in the facts of the case.”) (quoting State ex rel. Helseth v. Du Bose, 128 So. 4, 6 (Fla. 1930)).
A proper challenge to the lack of mens rea in section 893.13(6), Florida Statutes, is now before this Court. That statute is unconstitutional because, without a requirement for the state to prove knowledge of the illicit nature of the substance, it imposes heavy criminal penalties on citizens who are innocently possessing property.
WHEREFORE, the Defendant respectfully requests that this Court dismiss the charge(s) of violating of section 893.13 as facially unconstitutional.
(CERTIFICATE OF SERVICE).

Respectfully submitted,

As always, if arrested in Tampa or in need of more information please visit:
www.SuarezLawFirm.com or
www.TampaArrested.com

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Fatigue- My Enemy

“When we are tired, we are attacked by ideas we conquered long ago”

Friedrich Nietzsche

Nothing makes me feel more stuck in a rut than coming up a against a week without restful sleep.  Even when I am really making progress at life, all it takes is a few nights of nightmares for my “inner critic” to go crazy.  Fatigue makes me vulnerable, and it is always a reality check as to just how much work I have left to do and my road to a “normal” existence. The truth is that every day I am waging war with myself.  Like the cartoon characters with a little angel and devil on each shoulder, I carry an ongoing argument in my head with my negative inner critic.  On good days, I can tune out these thoughts (generally along the lines of feeling like an isolated, negative, unlikable, damaged, worthless person).  However, a few nights of sleep deprivation sends me into a tailspin of self-deprecation.

In my life before abuse, I didn’t stress over much because I had absolute faith that things would always be okay and I would always land on me feet.  It was a rosy view of things, but every problem I ever faced had always worked itself out without too much fallout.  I figured that if I was a good person and treated other people with kindness, generosity, and respect that I would – in the grand Karma scheme of things- receive the same in return.

Over five years of psychological, emotional, and ultimately physical abuse (not only on the part of my ex-husband, but also his family- whom I loved as my own) shattered my view of that reality. It was a gut-wrenching, devastating, and absolutely heart breaking  experience. There are not words to describe the sensation of betrayal.  A group of people who professed to love and care deeply about me had used me.  I had shown them nothing but love, kindness, compassion, and generosity; and in return I was greeting with back stabbing, lies, cruelty, and manipulation.  I didn’t deserve it, and I didn’t understand how any person could be capable of treating another that way.

As much as I want to regain my rosy-colored perspective of the world again, I have found it tremendously difficult.  The whole situation wreaked havoc on me both emotionally and physically.  The thought of ever being in that place again (of feeling completely unstable) still gives me anxiety and nightmares.  It literally keeps me up at night.  Not every night, but frequently when I’m over tired or run down.

I don’t ever get upset about any of the belongs I lost in my escape from my abuser; however, I am at times resentful that a man came into my life and took my view of the world as a safe place from me.  It is the ONLY thing that I miss from before.  It wasn’t his to take, and I want it back.  I want my sense of security back.  I want to stop keeping people at arm’s length to avoid getting burned again.  I want to believe that because I am a good person, good things will happen to me.

I am getting there, but it is a process, a LONG process.  That is why every time I get into a bad sleep cycle and the negative thinking creeps in I feel like it’s no progress.  One thing I have regained for certain,though, is my determination (running has been crucial in rebuilding both my determination and self-esteem), and I am determined to let go of worrying and focus on the positive change I want to be in the world. :)   I am also determined to get some sleep tonight!

Goal for tomorrow- short leisurely run with Penny, and maybe some gym time.

Be the first to like this post. I am a domestic abuse survivor. I am also a runner, painter, gardener, home improvement enthusiast, occasional poet, and a thriver. For those of you wondering what a "thriver" is exactly, Susan Omilian, the creator of the My Avenging Angel Workshops, defines it as follows "a thriver is a happy, self-confident and productive individual who believes that she has a prosperous life ahead of her. She is primed to follow her dreams, go back to school, find a new job, start her own business, or write her story. She believes in herself and in her future so much that she will not return to an abusive relationship. She speaks knowledgeably and confidently about her experiences and is not stuck in her anger or need for revenge." However, I have a my own definition: Thriver (noun) 1) A woman with a known fascination with glitter glue committed to making the world a more beautiful place. 2) One who progresses toward or realizes her goals despite circumstances 3) A person who flourishes and prospers 4) Someone who has mastery over her inner critic and celebrates the happy person inside her. Examples: Wow, those thrivers sure know how to decoupage. That thriver is going to change the world.

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"I am woman! I am invincible! I am pooped!"


“I am woman!  I am invincible!  I am pooped!”

  ~Author Unknown

The amazing view on my run today.

Today I continued my quest toward running a full marathon!  I figured it would be a good day for a long run because I have not run much this week and will be working the next two days without a lot of other opportunity to get mileage in.  Earlier this week I had attempted a light, fast paced run; but my body was not cooperating, and I ended up at the gym instead.  I was a little disappointed, but got some solace in the fact that I survived 15-whole-minutes on the stair climber- which I hate more even more than push ups (and that is saying a lot!).

None-the-less, I wanted to make up for my less than par workout and gain some ground.  I got up early and straightened up the house a little before setting out.  It was still cool and looked like it was shaping up to be a beautiful day.  I headed over to the Bridle Trail, a relatively flat, gravel path not far from my house.  I had not been there in several months, and thought it would be a nice change in scenery.  The trail runs through the woods, so it stays well shaded and keeps the temperature significantly cooler than running on the road.  I was actually a little chilly when I started, but quickly warmed up as I settled into my pace.  I chose my beat up asics over my vibrams because I don’t like running over gravel (or pavement) in toe shoes.

Not long into my run, I was greeted by another runner with a happily meandering chocolate lab in toe.  His companion lagged behind him enough to keep me company for a while before he wandered off again with his owner.  I made a mental note to start bringing my lab, Penny, out on more of my short runs.  (I used to run with her regularly; however, now that she is getting older, her endurance is not what it used to be. )

I had set the timer on my phone (which I use as an ipod) to alarm after an hour and forty-five minutes figuring I would just turn around and run back.  I hoped to be able to cover at least 15 miles in that amount of time.  For most of the way out I felt terrific.  I soaked in the beautiful views and wondered why anyone would run on the road when they could have a much more peaceful and splendid backdrop.  I was so absorbed in my surroundings that it felt like no effort at all, and I started to think that running a marathon would not be that difficult.  I frequently joke to Adam that “running on a flat surface is easy. I could run forever it’s flat.”

I was just beginning to believe my jest was true when I brushed my hand across my leg and realized I couldn’t feel it.  In fact, I could not feel anything from the small of my back down.  I wondered if this was what an epidural felt like.  Like any other endurance athlete (and I use that term loosely), I figured that if I ignored it long enough, it would just go away.  Besides, I wasn’t having any pain.  I tuned it out and kept going, but it didn’t go away.  Instead, it got worse.  Then my back and legs started to hurt.  I looked at the time.  I had only been running an hour!  This was disheartening.  I wondered if my asics were a bad choice.  Yet, I kept running because it was not just about the mileage- it was about training my body to keep going when it didn’t want to.  I knew I would have to get used to this feeling if I was going to get through over 26 miles.

By the time I was ready to turn around and head back, it was becoming increasingly more difficult to move my legs.  I was afraid to stop and walk, convinced that I would not be able to get my body to run again.  I began to doubt my ability to complete this task, and kicked myself for adding an additional 15 minutes each way.  At times, I was distracted by butterflies and bright yellow birds who seemed to follow me along with curiosity.  There were also a wide variety of wild flowers in white, purple, and yellows abutting the tree line.  I tried to concentrate on the scenery: a lovely pond, tall fields, small cottages.  However, my legs were aching and numb.  I didn’t think it was right that they could be both at the same time.  I kept plodding and hoping the time would go by quickly.

When I finally reached a stretch of the trail I remembered from early in my run I was elated- only to be crushed again by the long stretch before the next familiar site.  I thought it was funny how quickly I went from feeling like I could run forever to feeling like I had been running forever.  I dreaded the idea of doing this for over 5 hours and began to question why I ever thought it would be a good idea.  Maybe I was capable of running 10 or 15 K thanks to my vibrams, but this was starting to seem insane.

Then, before I knew it, I was back at the 2 mile mark.  I remembered how I used to struggle to run from my car to this spot and back when I was first breaking in my toe shoes.  Now it seemed like such a small distance!  Over and over in my head I chanted “TWO MORE MILES, JUST TWO MORE MILES!!!!”  I kept pushing; my body kept trying to quit.  I wanted to finish running, not walking.  I continued to drag myself until the sites became more familiar; and, finally,  I knew I was almost there.  I dragged myself all the way back to the car, and a funny thing happened.  I didn’t die.  I didn’t fall over.  I didn’t even throw up!  Instead I drove myself home and tried to stretch- until my lap was filled with a very happy lab and bulldog.

it got a little muddy

another view from the trail

Be the first to like this post. I am a domestic abuse survivor. I am also a runner, painter, gardener, home improvement enthusiast, occasional poet, and a thriver. For those of you wondering what a "thriver" is exactly, Susan Omilian, the creator of the My Avenging Angel Workshops, defines it as follows "a thriver is a happy, self-confident and productive individual who believes that she has a prosperous life ahead of her. She is primed to follow her dreams, go back to school, find a new job, start her own business, or write her story. She believes in herself and in her future so much that she will not return to an abusive relationship. She speaks knowledgeably and confidently about her experiences and is not stuck in her anger or need for revenge." However, I have a my own definition: Thriver (noun) 1) A woman with a known fascination with glitter glue committed to making the world a more beautiful place. 2) One who progresses toward or realizes her goals despite circumstances 3) A person who flourishes and prospers 4) Someone who has mastery over her inner critic and celebrates the happy person inside her. Examples: Wow, those thrivers sure know how to decoupage. That thriver is going to change the world.

View the original article here

Why Do Smart Women Date Abusive Men? Now on HuffPost

Good Afternoon Everyone,

If you haven’t yet read this article please check it out and by all means, feel free to share and comment!

Why do smart women date abusive men? I was asked this question countless times as I found myself stuck in an abusive relationship that began to spiral even more out of control. He didn’t seem abusive in the beginning, but the longer we were together, the more his abusive behavior began to seep out. It started off with frigidity and verbal abuse but it soon became evident that the man I was dating was very spiteful and would go for the jugular in the most minor of disagreements. Even after all these warning signs, I still didn’t believe anyone when they told me that one day it would escalate to physical violence. I will never forget that day, the day I almost became a statistic — another homicide victim resulting from domestic abuse.

Certain family members continuously asked me why someone like myself, a person with a seemingly high IQ, would allow themselves to be treated this way? How could a smart person end up in this situation? Every time I was asked this question, I cringed. The inference that I was stupid or ignorant because of my poor relationship choices did not help make my already out-of-control situation any better.

Anyone who is familiar with the dynamics of an abusive relationship knows that falling prey to one has nothing to do with a person’s intelligence or even their socio-economic status; rather their vulnerability.

Vulnerability leaves a person wide open to falling prey to an abuser. When I fell prey to my abuser, I was at a very mentally and emotionally weakened state because of all things I’d been through. In addition, I had just been dumped by a guy after confiding in him that I’d been raped. I had never felt lower. This vulnerability allowed for easy manipulation and I was inevitably sucked into a relationship by a man who made himself out to be my Knight in Shining Armor. In retrospect, there were many things I could’ve done differently to prevent this situation.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Read the rest of this article at The Huffington Post

Possibly

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"Slut Walks" Aim to Stop Blame

Miranda Nichols did not ask her friend to sexually assault her.She did not give him permission to climb on top of her as she slept, and she did not tell him to try to fight his way into her jeans.

But he did, she says.

“You wanted this,” she remembers him telling her as she struggled.

She kicked. She fought him off. But with one simple sentence, he neutralized any mental courage or strength she had left. What had she done to invite this?

In the days that followed, her friends would ask her, had she been drinking? What was she wearing?

Unintentionally but effectively they asked, “What did you do to allow yourself to be assaulted?”

And for a long time, Nichols asked herself the same questions.

Yes, she had been drinking. But they were in a friend’s apartment, not on a dark and lonely street corner. She was wearing a T-shirt and jeans. She had thought it was safe.

Nichols, a Kansas City resident who was 19 at the time, decided not to file a police report — a decision she still regrets at times — because she knew the officer would ask about the alcohol.

Yes, she was drinking underage.

Would ask if he had succeeded in raping her.

No, he hadn’t.

She was fearful of having her character put on trial through the legal system. Of being labeled a victim. Damaged goods. A slut.

She had not wanted this.

And with that realization, that acceptance that this was not her fault, Nichols got angry.

She got angry at her attacker, and she got angry at the culture that asks not “Why did you rape?” but instead “Why did you let yourself get raped?”

And then she realized something else: Other women were angry, too.

In April, women and men gathered in Toronto to organize the world’s first ever SlutWalk, after a police officer told a group of students that women should avoid dressing like “sluts” to protect themselves from rape and sexual assault.

Thousands took to the streets in April to protest the officer’s sentiment and the underlying cultural problems it implied. No matter what a woman is wearing, they said, she does not deserve to be raped.

It was not a quiet, solemn protest. Women, men and transgendered people marched in solidarity, wearing everything from lingerie with the word “slut” plastered across their bodies to T-shirts and jeans. They carried signs with slogans such as “Ask me what I’m asking for” and “Don’t tell us how to dress. Tell men not to rape.” It was loud, it was shocking, it was intentionally scandalous, and, more than anything, it was angry.

And it spread.

SlutWalks began to pop up all over the world: Boston, St. Louis, New Delhi, Seattle, London, Montreal, Seoul and Edinburgh.

Now, two years after her assault, Miranda Nichols, along with four other Kansas City residents, has decided to bring the movement to Kansas City. They are planning a march tentatively scheduled for Sept. 17 after permit issues forced them to reschedule from their original July 30 event date. They say they hope to see more than 800 people gather at the J.C. Nichols Fountain on the Country Club Plaza to march to Theis Park for SlutWalk KC.

“An article about SlutWalk really hit home for me especially because of all the victim-blaming comments I got,” Nichols says. “I know so many men and women and trans-men and women … who have been affected by sexual violence. I thought ‘this is something that is not Toronto’s problem. This is a problem collectively in Western society.’ ”

They are encouraging participants to wear whatever they feel comfortable in — whether it be a sexy dress, underwear or sweatpants — to make it known that rape is unacceptable and cannot be excused by calling the victim a slut.

Jaclyn Friedman, a writer, educator and feminist activist who spoke at the Boston SlutWalk, which drew about 2,000 people, says labeling women as sluts marks them as easy targets for violence. Sluts are never you or me, she says. Sluts are those “other women” who get themselves into trouble. Sluts — by wearing revealing clothing or drinking too much alcohol — entice male attention and invite sexual advances. If a slut gets raped, it was her own fault. If a slut gets raped, it’s not society’s problem.

Friedman has a term for this phenomenon. She calls it “social license to operate.”

“We know from research that many rapes are perpetrated by guys who do it again and again and again,” she says. “And the reason they can do it so many times is because we let them. We say, ‘well, she was leading him on’ or ‘it was just a misunderstanding,’ and we excuse it in some way or another. … Unless it’s a stranger jumping out of the bushes with a weapon and unless the victim is unimpeachably innocent, we make excuses. We give the rapists a social license to operate.”

Angie Blumel, director of community services with the Metropolitan Organization to Counter Sexual Assault, Kansas City’s sexual violence crisis center, says it’s important to note that slut-shaming language is especially harmful to public discourse because it contradicts research that shows rapists, more often than not, choose their targets based on how vulnerable they are, not how physically attractive they are.

“What we know based on research is that people rape for reasons related to wanting power and control and to harm others,” she says. “There’s a myth in society that it’s about wanting sex or wanting to engage in sexual activity with others when really it’s about power.”

But, she says, for people who don’t understand sexual violence, it’s much easier to explain the situation by finding something the victim did wrong than to explain why somebody would choose to rape.

Friedman says another reason people engage in victim-blaming is to help themselves feel safer.

“I think a lot of people do engage in victim-blaming for reasons that I empathize with,” she says. “Women are totally guilty of slut-shaming each other. They think there is a set of ways to behave that’s right, and if you don’t behave that way you make yourself a target. The whole reason that’s appealing is it makes you believe you can stay safe. ‘If I behave this way I’ll be OK, and if I don’t, that’s when I’m in trouble.’ ”

However, she says that mindset lures people into a false sense of security and propagates the problem by ignoring what’s really going on — by ensuring that rapists continue to have a social license to operate.

SlutWalk attempts to put an end to that social license by reclaiming the word slut so that it can’t be used as justification for sexual violence. By marching together under the banner of sluthood, these women say that if you dare to call one of them sluts, you must call all of them sluts, thereby showing the ridiculousness and ambiguity of the term.

“It’s kind of an ‘I am Spartacus’ moment,” Friedman says. “It’s a movement of mass solidarity.”

Nichols says she thinks language can shape realities and the way people perceive problems, and it’s important to take a minute to stop and think about what message you convey by the words you use. She says she frequently stops conversations to point out when friends use victim-blaming or slut-shaming language.

“If you ask 10 different people for a definition of ‘slut,’ you’ll get 10 different answers,” she says. “For a word that doesn’t even have a concrete meaning, it sure has a lot of effect to it.”

However, some women aren’t ready to reclaim the word “slut.” For them, it’s an unredeemable word that should be banished, not reclaimed. But organizers hope that won’t prevent those women from joining the march.

“Maybe this isn’t the movement for a lot of people,” Nichols says. “I just think that even if you don’t want to reclaim it, you can still walk with us in solidarity as targeting that aspect of rape culture.”

Others, women and men alike, don’t want to have anything to do with SlutWalks. The organizers of SlutWalk KC say they have to pay especially close attention to their Facebook page to remove vulgar images and disturbing comments; one user recently posted an image of a vagina filled with worms.

“We have a lot of trolling on our site,” says Alexandra Aldridge, one of the organizers. “And the sad thing is, you’d expect it from males, but it’s a lot of women. For me, getting it from women is more upsetting. … Recently, we had a woman go off and tell us how ridiculous and extreme this is and how we’re just asking for it and how women who dress like this should be preyed upon.”

Members of the Westboro Baptist Church, infamous for picketing soldiers’ funerals, are expected to be on hand to protest the protest.

“My stomach dropped completely (when I first heard they were attending),” Aldridge says. “But my other reaction is that we must be doing something right if we’re getting their attention.”

Nichols says she hopes the march gets the attention of someone else as well: her attacker

“I hope he squirms,” she says.


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Sex and Violence in Youth Ministry

In today’s urban dating culture many express how frustrating and unsatisfied they are because dating patterns encourage young men to be aggressive and young women to be accommodating.

Unfortunately, sex and violence are so intertwined for men that an easy separation is impossible.  Violence is constantly glamorized and sexualized in the urban culture.  The multibillion-dollar pornography industry is the clearest example of how we learn that power and control are tied to sexual arousal.  Even in children’s comic books, popular music and videos, and magazine advertisements, we are constantly reminded that dominating and subduing women is sexy and arousing.  The primary message young men receive is that having sexual access to women and having someone sexually vulnerable to you are the quintessential signs of male power, the epitome of success.  Women are constantly shown accompanying other signs of male power and success, such as fast cars, fancy stereos, money, and guns.

Some of these images portray the women as protesting vigorously at first, then finally giving up and enjoying sex.  In this way young men are taught that women are somehow turned on by the aggression displayed by men.  They may protest or say no at first to protect their reputation, but when they relax and enjoy it, they will grow aroused by the man’s aggression.  If they don’t, then there is something wrong with them.

The result of this training is that men are given permission to use sexual aggression to control women, to deny what they’re doing and then assert that it’s no big deal anyway.  If this goes on long enough it soon becomes the norm.  Young men assume this is the way relations between men and women are naturally.  If there is any guilt or remorse, the young women gets the blame.

She’s a teaseShe’s frigidShe’s too emotionalShe shouldn’t have said thatShe knew that would make me angryShe asked for itShe said no but she meant yesIf she didn’t want it she wouldn’t dress like that

There are so many layers of aggression, blame, and denial that there is no way for young men to see the impact their thoughts and behaviors have on the women around them.  We can even use the Scriptures to reinforce these ideas that women are inferior, further damaging the inherent dignity and value each young woman has, leading to a fractured image of who she was created to be by God.

What role does the church/your ministry have in (inadvertently) reinforcing these false beliefs?When was the last time you had a conversation about male gender training with the young men in your ministry?What are new values/beliefs that need to be taught from Scripture to replace old, harmful beliefs?How can we affirm young males without encouraging male privilege?Be the first to like this post.

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Dear Mrs. Cafeteria Lady, "Watch Your Back!"

Mrs. Cafeteria Lady, I’ve got a bone to pick with you.  I’ve taken your messy laziness for far too long!    

On Monday you burned my toast, leaving with me with only the buttery middle of the bread, probably the size of a U.S. silver quarter.  As much as I wanted to punch you in your titty ball, I forgave you.  It was, after all, Monday.  

When Tuesday rolled around, you completely said screw the toast all together.  Though your intentions were in the right place, replacing the toast with stale bagels only landed you in the number one spot on my sh!t list.  I wasn’t sure if I’d acknowledge you as a sh!t list offender or not, but after sitting in the dentist’s office for three hours waiting to have my broken tooth fixed, coming to that decision was easier than I thought.  

By the time I accepted that I didn’t have anyone to hump on Wednesday, I realized my forgiving attitude would shift swiftly if you didn’t get your act together quickly.  I’m not sure if you were pissed off with Mr. Cafeteria Lady for not putting it down the night before or if the kitchen was too hot for you to slave over a stove, but serving peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on Tuesday’s stale ass bagels was not only ghetto, but warranted me to steal one of your hairnets to give to my neighbor’s pet pit bull to sniff, so he’d have your scent when I released his viciousness on you for not satisfying my hunger.  If the problem however was Mr. Cafeteria Lady, I figured it would be okay if I whooped his ass myself and told him to handle his business so you don’t have to receive any more hate mail from me or any other employee in the building.  I haven’t gotten around to fighting him yet because the dentist told me I needed seven days of rest so the antibiotics he gave me can take effect on my tooth.  Because my mouth is still sore, even if Mr. Cafeteria Lady isn’t the problem, I might kick his butt just for the hell of it.  I need to take out my frustrations some kind of way.  

When I woke up Thursday morning, I prayed for a change of heart.  I asked the Lord for patience and understanding in the event I found another strand of your wig hair in my runny scrambled eggs or another one of your IDGAF (I don’t give a f—k) mystery meats.  But when I actually bit into the furry burger [or whatever the hell it was you served on the menu that day] and in fact almost choked to death like my cat does when he has a fur ball lodged in his throat, I drew the conclusion that I either didn’t pray hard enough or should’ve left out the curse words in my request for understanding.  My throat is still itching and like Monday, I still want to punch you in your titty ball.  

Well today is Friday.  I am completely fed up from the lousy week I’ve had, the poor breakfast and lunch you’ve dished out all week, and am tired and hung over from the party I crashed last night, not to mention sick as a dog for mixing alcohol with antibiotics.  Learning there is no damn coffee in the coffee pot this morning is the last straw!  You have had ample time to get it right and you still haven’t complied.  Enough is enough!  I would like to officially warn you to email your ass home today before you get off work, because if you don’t there will be a gang of girls waiting for you in the parking lot to beat the crap out of you, unless you have a large pizza delivered to my office with extra cheese, pepperoni AND sausage…and no hair!  

I will not accept any apologies, sob stories, or any forms of bribery that does not involve mozzarella cheese or fried chicken wings.  

I will give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you’ve just had a bad week, however that is not my problem and giving you the benefit of the doubt will not protect you from getting drop-kicked in the parking lot.  I am a firm believer that you must learn from your mistakes so that you won’t make them again.  And after those girls run your wig up a flag pole, perhaps then you will take your job a little bit more seriously and realize that employees that deal with a whole bunch of mess eight hours a day, five days a week, will not tolerate any excuses from you or anyone from the kitchen staff.  Food is our salvation and cooking is your job.  Get with the program or get lost!  

P.S., 

Have a blessed day!  

Thank you, 

Anonymous

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 Quote of the week:  “Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.”

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