~I’m not a very serious person really, but domestic abuse is something I feel very passionately about and think should be taken seriously.
Ted Bundy was in the news earlier and it got me started thinking about how little you really know about the people around you. Here this “nice guy” turned out to be a serial killer. Of all the serial killers, Bundy scares me the most. It’s not just him, but people like him. Someone who seems so, well, normal. People hide a lot of things from eachother
For example, there are a lot of people suffering from domestic abuse, whether it’s mental, emotional, sexual or physical abuse. Often, the abuser is able to convince you that if you do try to get help, nobody will believe you. The truth is that some people have a hard time believing that their charismatic friend would hit his wife or that their sister would beat her husband.
Some abusers isolate their victims from everyone they know. Once they have you isolated, it becomes easier to manipulate you. Sure, if he tells you that you’re a horrible, terrible person, you’ll just think he’s being mean at first. After you hear over and over again, you start to believe it yourself.
People always wonder why it takes so long to leave an abuser. There are many reasons; sometimes you feel like you have nowhere to go, or maybe you feel like you’re over-reacting and it’s not their fault, maybe you feel like it’s all your fault. Sometimes, you feel like if you could just be good enough then everything would be okay. Sometimes, you’re afraid for your life or your kids’ lives.
I’m not really sure if a lot of people realize how many men are abused as well. Generally, when you think of domestic abuse you think of a man beating his wife or girlfriend. First of all, abuse is not just physical. Also, men are abused as well but are less likely to speak up about it. I imagine it’s also harder to recognize this sort of abuse as well.
There’s a video on YouTube: Reaction to Women Abusing Men in Public. It takes place in a park and shows the different reactions of people when it’s a man being abusive compared to a woman being abusive. They’re both wrong and every single person who saw any of these encounters should’ve done something, in my opinion. Honestly, the public perception seems to be that women are less of a threat. It’s less about the man, it’s more about seeing women as weaker in general. Even if that were true, once again, abuse is not just physical.
If you, or someone you know, is in trouble, seek help. If you’re trying to help someone else, please keep their safety in mind. Some abusers are very controlling and will check your computer to see which websites you’ve visited, or see what phone calls you’ve made, etc. The Hotline is one of many good websites for victims as well, or if you can’t visit the site, their number is: 1.800.799.SAFE(7233). I checked, they help victims of either gender. The Hotline website also has some advice for helping an abused friend on their page: How Can I Help A Friend Or Family Member Who Is Being Abused?
If you have to, grab everything you can and go to the police station, they’ll help you too. There is help. If you need other resources, let me know and I’ll try to find them for you. We should all be taking care of each other.
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